

Yet another Saturday without a kickabout. If anybody calls me again before Im ready, I just might cry. (might) I better write down on how to play ball and my usual teammates before i totally forget everything. Letapos;s do it Superherostlye
Rob the Colossus (midfield)
+ quiet unassuming style of play. Defends a lot. Strong in air. Calm.
- can never initiate a fast counter-attack.
Bun the Human Wall (defence)
+ sacrificial player. Nt afraid to use face or any other part of body to block shots. Aggressive
- can never shoot on target to save his life. Prone to illegal tackles.
Edwin the Dirty Bastard (defence)
+ downright dirty. But gets the jobs done. Intercepts then counterattacks extremly quickly. Brave.
- the many times soccer turned into free-for-all, he is the cause. Also insists that a goal is only a goal when the ball is walked into the net.
Sof the Mandog (utility player)
+ rottweiler. The runner. Chases all balls and closes all opponents. Never complains. Never tires.
- reserves his best passes for the opposing team, resulting in either ed or bun to resort to cycnical challenges and a flying opponent striker landing on his face.
The Z. (the keeper)
- amazing reaction and agile. Quick to come off his line. Awesome shot stopper.
- fucking lets in the easiest of all shots.
Fahminho (attack)
+ ah, my favourite ammo supplier. Understands where to place the ball where I like it. Skillful, fast and never shy to shoot from the distance. Loves it when we play sambastyle
- tries to beat defenders when could have just passed me the ammo. Hotheaded.
Ram Burger (attack)
+ chases balls. Passes well. Has a nice ground shot.
- daydreamer. Frustatingly unavailabe when needed.
Jefferson the Invisible Man (midfield)
+ scores goals when the team is losing (which is rare). Tactically disciplined. Does what is asks well.
- mostly useless, is invisible during the game unless when ball is in his area.
Vince the Battering Ram (defence)
+ not one to shy away from viciously hurling his face/head into opponents head/face. Fast. Slides well. Not many have gotten up after being tackled by him
- impatient. Drifts away from his area often.
Zil the Zilch (??)
+ always avaialbe and ready to play. We enjoy his company
- the zilch. Just there to make up the numbers
Risso the Golo Golo (utility)
+ scores goals for his team.
- also scores goals for the other team. Hence golo golo. Just score for your team and the opponents also.
F1 (midfield)
+ speedy. Hardworking. Passes well and holds the ball well.
- dribbles his way out of the field sometimes, if not always.
Ikram the Eye (defence)
+ tactically disciplined. Tackles fast, hard and well. Passes well.
- hotheaded. Has a fucked up shot. Easily injured.
Mon the Wind (defence)
+ the wind. When all seems lost, appears out of nowhere to clear the ball off the line. Strong like a bull. Nicks balls cleanly, just like the wind.
- short like a, erm, letapos;s see. Like a motherfucker i suppose.
Me
- Does not play with the team. Is on a quest for personal glory.
Does not play well when moody and also Does not feel inspired often.
Does not pass often, if ever. Does not help to defend. Does not run without the
ball. Does not chase anyone. Does not listen to instructions and teammates pleas to pass.
Does not play fairly or cleanly. Does not hesistate to start rucks. Does not thank the guy
who passed him the ball.
But get the ball in my general area, and somehow it will end up in the back of the net.
(If im in the mood for it)
How to shoot and score 101.
Get ball. See where are the defenders and keeper. Decide on a point where to shoot the ball to. Imagine any of the Jonas Brothers there, and take aim.
Defenders are all Taylor Swifts/Gemma Wards/Katie Whites, the ball must not hit them.
Keeper is a monster, he will gobble up your ball, avoid him.
Decide trajectory and style of shot (dead straight, curling or simply outrageous)
Destroy the Jon(asses).
Repeat at will, depending on mood.
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